Aesthetic Realism is a cult

  Who they are, how they operate • Written by former members

Recovering from Aesthetic Realism

How to deal with the after effects

Anyone who's spent any time in a mind-control cult will be impacted psychologically by the experience, and AR is no different.  This shouldn't be a surprise: The purpose of a cult is to get its members to believe that the group is the most important thing in the world, and to do that they have to get inside your head.  They weaken your ego, so they can induce powerful feelings of guilt.  You get criticized a lot.  And any time you question the group at all, they tell you it's because of a personal failing inside yourself.  Anything bad that happens is your fault.  If they're successful then you wind up blaming yourself for things even if the group leaders don't.  That kind of experience is incredibly damaging.

Maybe you think that now that you see your group for the cult it was, everything's better now.  If so, then great.  But for a lot of people, simply knowing that their group was in fact a cult isn't enough to erase the damage.  Your mind can know that you have nothing to feel guilty about, but that doesn't necessarily mean you won't feel it anyway.  You can't choose your feelings.

Here are a couple of (non-cult) examples.  My mom took me to see Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory when I was three years old.  There's a scene where a little girl eats some purple candy she wasn't supposed to, and she balloons up to be ten times her normal size.  That scene freaked me out and I started crying and screaming, and my mother had to take me out of the theater.  Years later when I was in high school I saw the movie again, and when that scene came around, I wasn't scared, but my stomach knotted itself anyway and I certainly felt uncomfortable.  Even though I knew I had nothing to fear, I felt it anyway.  As another example, there's something from my childhood which I know wasn't my fault, but to this day I still have dreams about it.

Margaret Singer, who pioneered research into destructive cults, came up with some characteristics of post-cult trauma syndrome.  Here's a partial list:

She supplemented with some other effects that ex-members often experience:

• simplistic black-white thinking
• disassociation (spacing out)
• difficulty concentrating
• incapacity to make decisions
• mental confusion
• low self-esteem
• dread of running into a current cult-member by mistake
• loss of a sense of how to carry out simple tasks
• dread of being cursed or condemned by the cult
• difficulty managing time
• trouble holding down a job   (see Singer's complete list)
  

Cult experts recognize that people who leave cults have special challenges for getting over their experience.  Most counselors and therapists aren't equipped to help ex-cult members in this way.  If you seek counseling, it's crucial to choose a counselor who has specific training and experience in helping ex-cult members.  Here's a list of some resources:

What's on this site
Cult Aspects What is Aesthetic Realism? An explanation about both the AR philosophy and the group that promotes it. Cult aspects of Aesthetic Realism Fanatical devotion to the leader, cutting off relations with families who aren't also believers -- it's all here. AR and Homosexuality The AR group used to try to "cure" people of being gay. They stopped that in 1990 because high-profile success cases kept deciding they were gay after all and leaving. AR has never said their gay-changing attempts were wrong. AR's founder killed himself AR's founder Eli Siegel killed himself, but the AR people have been trying to hide that fact. They can't hide any more, since enough former students have come forward to confirm the truth. Attempts to recruit schoolchildren Some AR members are public schoolteachers, and yep, they do try to recruit in the classroom. Mind control tricks This article explains AR's use of Directed Origination, a classic tool for brainwashing. Also see the article where someone infiltrated the group to learn about their mind control methods. Five reasons you can't trust an Aesthetic Realist One reason is that most people who were in AR eventually woke up and got out. See more about this, plus four other reasons. Lies Aesthetic Realists tell They say they never saw homosexuality as something to cure. They say the leader didn't kill himself. They say my family left the group when I was an infant. These and more are debunked here. Hypocrisy of the Aesthetic Realists It takes some serious brainwashing for the members to not realize that they're guilty of what they accuse others of. Aesthetic Realism glossary We explain the real meanings behind the loaded language that AR people use.	AR in their own words Actual AR advertisment The AR people spent a third of a million dollars for a double-page ad in the NY Times to tell the world that the press' refusal to cover AR is just as wrong as letting hungry people starve to death. Ad for the gay cure AR bought huge ads in major newspapers to trumpet their ability to "fix" gays. Actual letters from AR people When a theater critic casually dissed Aesthetic Realism in New York magazine, the AR people responded with hundreds of angry letters, calling the article "a crime against humanity". Actual internal meeting The AR people blunderingly made a tape recording of a secret meeting they had, where they lambasted a member who had supposedly been "cured" of his gayness, but then found to still be cruising for gay sex. Their screeching hostility towards him is matched only by their fear that the secret will get out. Actual AR consultation For the first time the public can see what really happens in an Aesthetic Realism "consultation" (thanks to a former member sharing his tape with us). In the session the AR counselors tried to help the member not be gay, explaining that the path to ex-gayness was to express deep gratitude to AR and its founder. Actual AR lesson I had a lesson with the cult leader, Eli Siegel, when I was two years old, which, like everything else, they made a tape of. The highlight is Siegel taunting me with "Cry some more, Michael, cry some more!" Ad in the Village Voice from 1962 The AR folks try to deny that they're a cult in this ancient ad -- showing that people were calling them a cult as far back as 1962! AR responds to this website The AR people have tried to rebut this website with their own site called Countering the Lies, whose title ought to win some kind of award for irony. Here we explain the story behind that site.
What former members say Aesthetic Realism exposed The ultimate statement by a former member, who was involved for well over a decade. A tale of getting sucked in. This former member describes exactly how he initially got drawn in, and how he then kept getting more and more involved. Growing up in a cult. An ex-member who was born into AR tells what it was like growing up in the group, and how she got out. Aesthetic Realism ruined his marriage. "I consider my 'study' of Aesthetic Realism to be one of the factors that led to the eventual breakup of my marriage, to my eternal sorrow." On having all the answers. A former member explains how AR members think they have all the answers, and feel qualified to lecture others about how they should view personal tragedy. Kicked out for remaining gay. A former student describes how he was kicked out of AR because he couldn't change from homosexuality. "If I disappointed them, then I now consider that a badge of honor." A former member tells how AR try to change him from being gay, and convinced him not to spend Christmas with his family. "...people were controlled and humiliated if they stepped out of line...". The experiences shared with us by a member from 1974-80, now a Fortune 100 executive. "I want Ellen Reiss questioned!" This former member wonders why there hasn't been a class-action lawsuit against the foundation yet. They took his consultation tape. Describes how the AR people kept his consultation tape with his most intimate thoughts on it, and told him he couldn't study any more unless he incorporated AR more radically into his life. "There isn't any question: Eli Siegel killed himself." A former member who had sought AR's "gay cure" explains how the group's leaders admitted that the founder took his own life. Confirms all the criticism. A former member from 1971-80, confirms that AR students don't see their families, are discouraged from attending college, and shun other members. He also offers that he was mistaken when he was involved about thinking that AR had changed him from homosexuality. Michael Bluejay's description. Your webmaster describes his own family's involvement. Members interviewed in Jewish Times. This lengthy article in Jewish Times quotes former students of Aesthetic Realism extensively. NY Post article. A series of articles in the NY Post quotes many former members who are now critical of the group. Aesthetic Realism debunked. A former student explains the cult aspects of AR. Posted on Steve Hassan's Freedom of Mind website. Other Goodies Thinking of leaving AR? If you're thinking of leaving the group, you're not alone. Let's face it: Most people who have ever studied AR have left -- and not come back. There's got to be a reason for that. Curious about what they figured out? Worried about the fallout if you do decide to leave? Here's everything you need to know. Recovering from your AR experience. People who leave cults often need special therapy to cope with what they went through. Whether you decide to seek counseling or choose to go it alone, here's what you need to know. Media Reports NY Mag called AR "a cult of messianic nothingness" and Harper's referred to them as "the Moonies of poetry". We've got reprints of articles, plus some help for journalists researching AR. (And here are shortcuts to the landmark articles in New York Native, the NY Post and Jewish Times.) Site News / Blog Here's some news and commentary that I add from time to time.