Former AR student Ron Schmidt describes his experiences
written February 12, 2005
Thank you for the information you put together on this site. I was a student for about two and a half years from summer 1987 until the end of 1989. The experience was strange to say the least, and the word cult often crossed my mind while I was 'studying'. I began to study because I was gay and it was not cool to be gay in a rural area not to mention my parents are devout Catholic. I can't say everything about my experience with AR was bad, however I learned early on that if I didn't express gratitude for AR and ES often I would be in trouble. Looking back I can't believe I lasted there as long as I did. I never lived in NY but I did visit twice and had two consultations in person, of about thirty consultations over the phone which were taped and sent to me so I could study them. After finding this web site a couple of days ago I went home to listen to one of them. It happened to be my fourth one, and most of the hour was spent on how I wasn't grateful enough for AR and [AR founder] Eli Siegel. When I protested that I hadn't changed yet I was told that I had seen enough already of the great beauty of AR. During the consultation I was asked very leading questions like how did I think about myself after being attracted to another man, Did I think more or less of myself? Did I think more or less or the other person? (Now how would any 22yr old Catholic closet case answer these questions?) At no time was I given any numbers as to how many people had changed, I was just told "many people had changed" I was also never told how long I should expect to study before I would change, nor for that matter that people who had changed had recanted. I was afraid to ask these questions because of the element of fear that if I wasn't respectful enough they would drop me.
They dropped me anyway. My consultants eventually told me I couldn't study any more. They said I wasn't trying hard enough and I was thwarting their efforts. They were very rude when they did this and I was devastated. I always wondered why they were so rude. I can understand they were disappointed that I hadn't changed after two and half years of study, but since they always claimed to have good will for me I would think they would have said something nicer like "We feel we have done all we can for you for now and encourage you to continue to study on your own," (since it was the knowledge of AR that supposedly caused people to change). After that when I tried to renew my subscription to TRO my check was returned to me. I tried to study on my own for about another year then I got some counseling because I felt so demoralized.
That was a long time ago and I now feel I am a reasonably well adjusted gay man and am out to just about everyone I know.
So is AR a cult? I don't think it is for me to say. What I can say is that I don't think AR or Eli Siegel had any real insight into the subject of homosexuality. Since they no longer teach the 'Change from Homosexuality' I have no real beef with AR today and I believe in 'live and let live'. I do feel it is important for me to tell my story as honestly as possible, which I feel I have done here. If someone I knew wanted to study AR I would simply tell them to proceed with caution.
I will just finish by saying "Thank You" to Michael for this web site because I feel better knowing I am not the only one who had misgivings about AR.
— Ron Schmidt,
[Editor's note: About eight years after kicking Mr. Schmidt out of AR for failing to be "cured" of his gayness, one of Mr. Schmidt's consultants left AR himself. Also, while AR no longer counsels people on how not to be gay, they haven't renounced that either. In other words, they still think being gay is a mental problem, they just don't talk about it any more. (See more about AR's supposed 'gay cure')]
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