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Cybersex
Someone claiming to be a 33-year-old woman sent me an Instant Message and demanded cybersex. I had the idea she was more likely a teenage boy. I played along for a bit to see where it would lead. I thought it was kind of amusing. By the way, those who are skeptical that I can actually keep up an IM while using long sentences and proper capitals and punctuation, I type 100wpm.
GirlFlower9:
hi
MichaelBluejay: Hello.
GirlFlower9: asl
[She's
asking for my Age, Sex, and
Location.]
MichaelBluejay: I
do have a profile. Are you unable to see
it?
GirlFlower9: oh
GirlFlower9: ok
GirlFlower9: my asl
is
GirlFlower9:
26
GirlFlower9: f
GirlFlower9: pa
MichaelBluejay:Well,
that's a startling coincidence....
MichaelBluejay:The
coincidences: I'm 26, my mother's screen name also has "flower" in
it, and she lives in PA.
GirlFlower9: 44 bra
and d cup
MichaelBluejay: I
don't know what bra sizes mean, but I think that's large,
right?
GirlFlower9:
yeah
MichaelBluejay:
Why do
you mention that right after meeting
me?
GirlFlower9: so i can
have cyber
GirlFlower9: with
u
MichaelBluejay: I'm
flattered. Why did you pick me?
GirlFlower9: do u
know what that is
MichaelBluejay: Yes,
I'd like to know why you selected
me.
GirlFlower9: because
i like all the stuff u like
GirlFlower9:
and u sound
cool
MichaelBluejay: You
like the stuff I like? Such as?
GirlFlower9: and ur
snn name is cool
MichaelBluejay: Thank
you...
GirlFlower9: do u
want to do it yes or no
MichaelBluejay: Perhaps,
but slow down a bit, will you?
GirlFlower9: u
start
MichaelBluejay: Which
things do you like that I also like?
GirlFlower9: all the
things in ur pro
MichaelBluejay:
Such
as?
GirlFlower9: info
MichaelBluejay: See,
it's like this....
MichaelBluejay: You
wrote to me before you knew I *had* a profile,
right?
MichaelBluejay: And
now you're telling me you wrote to me BECAUSE of my
profile.
MichaelBluejay: You
seem to be misleading me.
GirlFlower9: if u
dont start i will not do it with u
MichaelBluejay: I'll
be honest with you, I don't normally do cyber. And I definitely
wouldn't do that with someone I haven't spoken with
before.
MichaelBluejay: If
you would like to call, or allow me to call you, then perhaps we can
proceed.
GirlFlower9:
no i mean on
aol
MichaelBluejay: Since
I can't be sure that you're really a 26-year-old female, then I'm
loathe to begin an IM intimacy.
MichaelBluejay: My
number is 512-322-0638
GirlFlower9: bye then
since u wont do it
GirlFlower9: you dont
belive me
MichaelBluejay:
I didn't
say that.
MichaelBluejay: You're
putting words into my mouth.
GirlFlower9: then do
it on aol
GirlFlower9: NOW NOW
NOW NOW
MichaelBluejay: Why
are you ignoring what I wrote?
MichaelBluejay: I
told you, I would need to speak with you
first.
GirlFlower9: why
GirlFlower9: i am 30
not 26
MichaelBluejay: Because,
since you seem to be misleading me, I doubt that you may really be
over 18, or even really be a woman, for that
matter.
MichaelBluejay: You're
also unable to name any of our supposed common
interests.
GirlFlower9: are u
going to do it yes or no
MichaelBluejay: I've
already given you my answer,
repeatedly.
GirlFlower9: then
start
MichaelBluejay:Once
again: I would need to speak with you by phone
first.
GirlFlower9:NOW
MichaelBluejay:
Once
again: I would need to speak with you by phone
first.
GirlFlower9: what is
u phone number
MichaelBluejay: I
already gave it to you.
MichaelBluejay: 512-322-0638
GirlFlower9: do u
have that thing where u can see who is
calling
MichaelBluejay: Yes,
I do.
MichaelBluejay: You
can override that by dialing *67
first.
MichaelBluejay: That
will block your name and number.
MichaelBluejay: Or,
you can use a calling card, if you have one, which will also block
your name and number.
GirlFlower9: well
than no because i dont want u calling me
GirlFlower9: it is
now on aol or never
MichaelBluejay: I
told you, you can block it simply by dialing *67
first.
MichaelBluejay: Why
do you insist on ignoring what I tell
you?
GirlFlower9: no
GirlFlower9: bye
Here's
another one from the same month. This person didn't want sex, but I
thought I had a clever way of politely getting out of the
conversation....
freakyfool18:
hey
MichaelBluejay: Hello.
Do I know you?
freakyfool18: no mr
grinch told me that he thinks that u might like to talk to
me
MichaelBluejay: I
don't believe I know Mr. Grinch.
MichaelBluejay: Would
you be so kind as to tell me about
yourself?
freakyfool18: mr
grinch 7
freakyfool18:
he said to talk to
u
MichaelBluejay:
I don't
believe I know a Mr. Grinch 7.
freakyfool18: o well
so...
MichaelBluejay: You
have me at a disadvantage; my profile is rather detailed, but yours
is a bit sparse.
freakyfool18: so
watcha wanna know
MichaelBluejay: Well,
since I know absolutely nothing about you at all, anything would be
helpful.
freakyfool18: so...
freakyfool18: so u
wanna know my a/s/l or something
MichaelBluejay: That
would be helpful, for starters.
freakyfool18: 13/m/cali
MichaelBluejay: I
see. Do you realize that I'm twice your
age?
freakyfool18: yea
MichaelBluejay: Well,
I generally don't converse very much with people so much younger than
myself. They tend to not be quite so versed in the ramifications of
the plethora of contemporary social issues which interest
me.
freakyfool18: ok half
those words r over my haed so ill just not talk with u bye
bye
freakyfool18: freak
see u round bye
Finally, here's a parody
of cybersex on
another website.