Michael Bluejay's guide to
I made this logo as a gift for the band. It reads the same upside-down as rightside up. I was proud that when I gave it to Robert at a show in Apr. 1997, he remarked, "That's fucked up!" |
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Last update: September 26, 2012 This site was selected as the MacroMusic |
Ben Folds Five newsSept. 2012. The
newly-reunited Ben Folds Five releases a new album, The Sound of
the Life of the Mind, and launches their first tour in over a
decade. The Magical Armchair has the
tour dates. Stuff on this site
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For the Love of Ben Folds FiveGrid Magazine (defunct)by Dave Thomas • 4/96 If you take their word for it, the two lively teens on the 'Living in the 90's' commercial will have you believing that these days "Music is everywhere! No need to label it-if it's good, we'll play it!" Clearly, these teens are not only living in the 90's, but also on the planet Jupiter - otherwise they'd know that we earthlings like our music neatly bagged, tagged and mounted on the wall in the den. Maybe this is why Ben Folds Five had such a hard time finding their first gigs. Nobody, not even in the mondo-sophisticated hamlet of Chapel Hill, NC could figure these boys out. For starters, there were only three of them. Second, none of them played a guitar. Not only that, the skinny one was spending all his time pounding, scraping, stomping on, and generally smacking the living hell out of a Baldwin baby grand piano. Mom wasn't going to like that one bit. And then there were the songs--loose and throbbing, with real, actual piano chords, and lyrics about Howard Cosell, and backround vocals that went "oooh" and "la la la," and three guys wigging out like they're at a Scorpions concert. I mean, what were you supposed to call music like that? Well, "Piano Music," I guess. Or maybe "New Joe Jackson," or "Fresh Old-School Todd Rundgren," or "Today's Hot Young Squeeze." You see the problem? Well, Ben Folds didn't. This marketer's nightmare was just the idea of a trio that wouldn't play kick-ass rock-and-roll using piano, bass, and drums. He called it "punk rock for sissies." And, as the world slowly clues in (following the lead of Japan, where BF5 just finished a sold-out tour, and where over 90,000 happy Asian hipsters have bought a copy of Ben Folds' debut CD), the only stupid question remaining is... why? Ben Folds on why a pianogrid: You play guitar and bass, you worked as a session drummer in Nashville, you probably know your way around a harmonica-why the hell did you decide to play something as impractical and heavy as a piano?Ben: It was just the whole idea from the beginning. Our story is pretty boring. We just said, "Let's start a piano band;" and then we did it. grid: But aren't you the boss? Why didn't you make somebody else play the piano? Ben: Well, I had the piano thing and the songs figured out before I met Darren [drums] and Robert [bass]. I already knew how to move the piano around, and that's the main thing. grid: Don't you know that they have synthesizers for that stuff nowadays? Ben: Yeah, I heard about them. Hmmmmm.. Well, so much for straight answers. What Ben Folds Five do give, though, is a brisk commentary on many of today's top issues. Here are some now... Ben Folds Five on Dennis DeYoung and the USAgrid: You get compared with a lot of different musicians, from Randy Newman to Joe Jackson to Billy Joel; but the guy they always leave out is Dennis De Young of Styx.Ben: That reminds me of a comment I'd like to make about the United States. It's really big. And depending on where you are, different things are either funny or not. If you're in Texas and you mention Styx, they don't understand the irony. Styx just got uncool in Texas about three days ago. We played there, and this guy said "Y'all sound like Styx." And it wasn't funny to him. Darren: Yeah, it's okay to wear an REO Speedwagon shirt as a joke in Minneapolis. But if you wear it in Texas they're like "Hell, yeah." Ben Folds Five on two brand new pieces of Utah legislation, one of which makes tatoos illegal for people under 21, while the other makes it legal to marry your first cousinBen: Is there a "Cruelty to Squirrels" clause in there?grid: You may not tatoo a squirrel. Robert: No sodomy is allowed in Utah, either. Ben: I think if first cousins get married then they should be required to have a tatoo, you know, that says: "We're First Cousins. Run From Us." Ben Folds Five on which celebrity they would pay to see naked and how muchBen: John Candy is dead, right?grid: Yes, but you could still see him naked. He probably wouldn't even put up a fuss now. Ben: How about Yanni? Darren: Yanni or Steve Perry. I'd pay whatever it takes to see Steve Perry naked. In a duster. grid: What's a duster? Ben: It's like an acid-washed denim trenchcoat. Darren: And hopefully it would be the phase of his career when he had the moustache. Robert: He never had a damn moustache. Ben Folds Five on whether Steve Perry ever had a moustacheBen: We've been debating whether or not he ever had a moustache.grid: I'm pretty sure he did on 'Departure'. Robert: Are you sure it wasn't the bass player? grid: You mean Ross Valory? He had a moustache the whole time. Darren: And zits, too. That guy was sick. Ben Folds Five getting back to the issue at handgrid: Back to the issue at hand. How much would you pay to see Yanni naked?Darren: Yanni? Twenty bucks. grid: Yanni has a moustache. Ben: He has that Glamour Shots look. Robert: I'd like to see Hootie, or whatever his name is. grid: How much would you pay? Robert: I have to pay? grid: Yes. Darren: Would they dance around, or would they just stand there? Ben: Steve Perry would dance. He'd be real happy about being naked in front of you. Robert (very excited): I know, the fat chick from Wilson Phillips. Crying. In tears. Ben: You mean Carnie. Robert: Yeah. It's much more sad when they're fat, naked, and crying. No nice photography, no vaseline on the camera lens. Just standard VHS camera and naked Carnie out in the middle of the street, crying. That would be beautiful. Darren: My other choice is Joan Jett. But, I will insist upon armpit hair. Ben Folds Five on which songs they cover in their setBen: We do Yanni.Robert: We cover "The Flowing Waters of the Grand Canyon" by Yanni. Darren: We do that duet between Lita Ford and Ozzy Ozbourne. I forget what it's called. Robert: We do "Ring of Fire" by Yanni Cash. grid: I don't believe any of you. Ben Folds Five on girlfriends, polygamy, and gritsgrid: Do you guys have girlfriends?Ben: Yeah, three of them. Darren: Each. You can do that in Utah. Ben: Yeah, what's the deal with that, how can Mormons have more than one wife? Robert: They can't anymore. It used to be legal until 1888. [Robert proceeds to blurt out an accurate account of the history of polygamy in the Mormon church.] But now it's just a stereotype. Darren: Like in the south we all eat barbecue every day and have slaves. grid: And you eat a lot of hominy grits, right? Robert: And chitlins. Ben: I'd like to know what these foods are and who eats them. Darren: It's the "good stuff." That's all you need to know. Ben Folds Five on Chapel Hill and why there are so many cool bands theregrid: What's the vibe like between all those bands in the Chapel Hill area? Is it friendly or are there rivalries?Ben: I don't know. The only time I've really seen any of the other bands is at the Harris-Teeter grocery store, between three and four o' clock in the morning, in the ice cream section. Really. Darren: It's actually true. When you go in there late at night you run into a lot of bands looking at ice cream. grid: What is it about the area that breeds so many hot young bands? Ben: I don't know. grid: Robert or Darren? Robert: I don't know. Darren: I don't know. Okay, they're done talking. This works out fine, though, because it's time to start your playing. I'd like to say that if you missed seeing the Ben Folds Five concert, your life can still possess a small degree of meaning and value, but it would be a lie. I don't know how big the crowd was a the Bar and Grill--it could have been 20 or 200, it didn't matter. Ben Folds Five play like it's 2000. While Robert and Darren belt out harmonies that would make the Partridge Family blush, Ben explores exotic new ways to demolish his hapless piano. Between songs he flashes "rock on" signals and snaps crowd photos for friends in Japan. After encores he stomps on the keyboard and bashes the keys with his stool. As for covers, let me just say: Built To Spill, Lynnrd Skynnrd, and Barry Manilow, for hell's sake. In interviews the group claim inspiration from, of all things, the Jimi Hendrix Experience; and the way they play- skillful and precise, but at the same time wet and loose and all over the place-makes you think maybe the seventies weren't so dumb, after all. The crow is gushing. Bear in mind that this is not an audience of high school rejects cheering on one of their own made good. This diverse, ragtag bunch includes hipsters, flower people, pit hungry rockers, and self-conscious squares. You would not expect many of these people to be touching Ben Folds' sissified piano music with an 80-foot stick; and yet there they all are, jumping and grooving and rubbing their bodies all over it. It's more than a little surreal, but strangely gratifying. Ben Folds on the seventiesgrid: Between the "What, me worry?" feel of your songwriting and the fact that the piano makes you sound a little like my old grade school play rehearsals, listening to you reminds me a lot of the seventies.Ben: Yeah, that makes sense. It's funny how you get influenced by that stuff when you're growing up and listening to it on the radio. When you're a little kid, like for me in the seventies, you're attracted to the cheesier stuff, and not the cooler stuff. So people over forty kind of wonder why you want to pull influences from the the stuff that they didn't think was cool when it was around. People our age love to watch 'Saturday Night Fever', because it's fun. But, it's not fun to someone over thiry-five or forty. They're like, "I was around when that stupid shit was on the first time." I guess they're embarrassed by it. As it happens, the Five end their set by blasting through a perfect recreation of The Buggles' 'Video Killed the Radio Star'--the very song that pounded the last nail in the coffin for seventies AM radio Top Twenty back in 1982. Now the same tune allows this dripping, slap happy crowd one last look at a sunnier time, before punting us back into the present. It's a beautiful moment. You see, dear ones, to fathom the Ben Folds universe you have to ignore the 'Living in the 90's' teens, and pay strict attention to the Time Life's 'Sounds of the Seventies'. You know, the commercial that kicks off with Blue Suede shouting "Oogah-chaka, oogah-oogah," and ends with "Shannon is gone" and "Oh, oh, oh it's magic!" Pure Wisconsin cheese, and the blood in the veins of songs like Ben Folds' "Philosophy," "Uncle Walter," and "Best Imitation of Myself." Their happy place is found not so much in the likes of Joe Jackson and Squeeze as in Captain and Tenille, Paper Lace, very old Elton John, and even Schoolhouse Rock. What you wind up with can be both setimental and sarcastic, and I'll be damned if it doesn't leave people grinning like dung-eating idiots. As one guy put it, "Ben Folds has made it sage to waltz in the mosh pit." What can I say? If this is dung, may we never eat food again.
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 Ben, Darren, and Robert rode bicycles in the Uncle Walter video. If you ride a bike, check out my guide to How to Not Get Hit By Cars.  Ben told me in 1998 that Darren Jessee (BF5's drummer) is a vegetarian. Vegetarianism and even veganism are a lot more common now than they were in the 90s, so props to Jessee for being ahead of the curve on that one. Other vegetarian musicians include as Paul McCartney, Prince, Madonna, Natalie Merchant, and a host of others (including many you've never heard of, like me). Get the scoop on meatless diets on my Vegetarian Guide site. |
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