Aesthetic Realism is a cult

  Who they are, how they operate • Written by former members

A member involved from 1971-1980 speaks out

written January 19, 2005

     I rarely think of Aesthetic Realism any more, but a friend with whom I have sporadic contact advised me of this website and the Countering the Lies website established to combat the denoucing of AR by former students.

      I fall somewhere in between. I do not hate Aesthetic Realism nor feel that it stole my life. I learned some things from consultations, from Eli Siegel and later while teaching AR myself, and these things had a good effect on my life. I was pretty screwed up when I first encountered AR and was most definitely on a downward path. Eli Siegel was a smart man, unfortunately often a victim of his own students. The constant praising and looking to curry favor with him gave the whole thing a messianic touch. Still, he and his philosophy changed my downward spiral and I can't or won't deny that.

      While good came to me from my study of AR, I am not so naive as to proclaim that AR is not a cult; it most definitely is (or "was" as the case may be). During my tenure as a student and teacher, relations with my family and people I knew pre-AR were definitely discouraged. People did not go on vacations, or if they did, it most often was in secret. I was in college when I met AR and was somewhat ambivalent about it. I most certainly was told by my [AR] teachers that I didn't need to pursue my degree because AR was the education of the future and I would have a place in history as a teacher of Eli Siegel's philosophy. I read with interest contrary assertions by present students and friends of AR and find them mildly amusing as I personally know at least half of the contributors to the Countering the Lies site and know them to either be fibbing or having a long-term memory problem. I spent much of my 9-year involvement with AR, protesting in front of the New York Times, the home of the surgeon who operated on Eli Siegel, the homes of various NY Times bigshots and generally making a pest of myself proclaiming to all who would listen (and those who didn't want to) that I was a Victim of Press. As a struggling "student" of AR, I myself was made the center of many "respect meetings" where I was torn apart by other students "for my own good." I also watched other students, less adept at hiding things - I was damn good at keeping some of my more odious opinions hidden - practically skinned alive by unhappy people looking to feel better about themselves. I also think that students of AR have to take a serious look at how they marry and divorce and remarry and divorce (most often one another). It's not cool, guys!

      While I had doubts about my long-term association with AR for a couple of years, it was the death of Eli Siegel that made clear to me that I needed to move on with my life. I could not for the life of me understand how the man who told me, my mother and father and anyone who would listen that it was our contempt for the world that was the source of our suicidal feelings, couldn't resolve that conflict in himself. It was terribly sad and unresolved among students at that time. The fact that they say differently now doesn't belie the inner angst at the time of his death.

      When I left I was definitely shunned by other students. I would meet people in the NYC streets - as I still do to this day - and they would turn the other way to avoid me, or some even made derogatory comments about me.

      My life continued to improve even after I left AR. I took some fundamental principles of AR and used them in my everyday life. That, along with about 10 years of conventional therapy, and I've got a pretty good life now.

      I'm glad to hear that AR students are finally enjoying vacations and closer relationships with their families. If they are, and they say they are, I think it's a definite PR move and a big change from the past. I'm also glad that AR has moved away from the homosexuality issue, as this is the first thing that drew me to study AR and most definitely did not change my sexuality issue, even as I tried so hard to believe it had. I'm enjoying my life as a gay man with my long-term partner and am proudly open about my homosexuality.

     So, take from this what you wish. AR has value; but it's not the end all and be all it wishes to be.

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Former members describe Aesthetic Realism

• The ULTIMATE statement by a former member. Wow. A former Aesthetic Realism member who was involved for over ten years and into the 1990's sent us this incredibly detailed account of what life inside AR is like. This puts to rest once and for all any lingering question about whether AR is a cult - it is. The AR people will not be able to "counter" this on their Countering the Lies website because this account is from one of their own, and because it's so exhaustively detailed.
• A tale of getting sucked in. Another former member shares his experiences. This story is unique because he describes exactly how he initially got drawn in, and how he then kept getting more and more involved.
• Aesthetic Realism ruined his marriage. "[It] introduced a level of stress in my marriage that had not previously existed....I consider my 'study' of Aesthetic Realism to be one of the factors that led to the eventual breakup of my marriage, to my eternal sorrow." This former member also wrote about AR on Steve Hassan's Freedom of Mind.
• On having all the answers. A former member explains how AR members think they have all the answers, and feel qualified to lecture others about how they should view personal tragedy.
• Kicked out for remaining gay. A former student describes how he was kicked out of AR because he couldn't change from homosexuality. Powerful stuff.
• "If I disappointed them, then I now consider that a badge of honor." A former member tells how AR try to change him from being gay, and convinced him not to spend Christmas with his family.
• "This is merely one example of the way people were controlled and humiliated if they stepped out of line...". The experiences shared with us by a member from 1974-80, now a Fortune 100 executive.
• "I want Ellen Reiss questioned!" A former member tells her story, and wonders why there hasn't been a class-action lawsuit against the foundation yet.
• They took his consultation tape. A former student describes how AR people kept his consultation tape with his most intimate thoughts on it, and told him he couldn't study any more unless he incorporated AR more radically into his life.
• "There isn't any question: Eli Siegel killed himself.". A former member who sought AR's "gay cure" describes how the group's leaders admitted that the founder took his own life.
• "I personally know at least half of the contributors to AR's Countering the Lies website and know them to either be fibbing or having a long-term memory problem.". A former member from 1971-80, confirms that AR students don't see their families, are discouraged from attending college, and shun other members. He also offers that he was mistaken when he was involved about thinking that AR had changed him from homosexuality.
• Michael Bluejay's description. This whole website is my statement about Aesthetic Realism. But in this article I describe my family's involvement in more detail.
• Members interviewed in Jewish Times. This lengthy article in Jewish Times quotes former students of Aesthetic Realism extensively.
• NY Post article. A series of articles in the NY Post quotes many former members who are now critical of the group.
• Aesthetic Realism debunked. A former student explains the cult aspects of AR. Posted on Steve Hassan's Freedom of Mind website.