Aesthetic Realism is a cult

  Who they are, how they operate • Written by former members

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My own experience with Aesthetic Realism

by Michael Bluejay, editor of this website

     My roots in Aesthetic Realism go deep. I was born into it, because my mother was born into it, because her parents were involved in it. My maternal grandfather, Jack Musicant, was introduced to Aesthetic Realism by Marvin Mondlin who today (2005) is reportedly its oldest living supporter (and who has publicly reamed me for daring to speak out against AR). From what I understand Mondlin met Siegel while in college, though Siegel himself didn't attend college and professed a disdain for it. Jack apparently introduced AR to his future wife, May Musicant. Jack and May knew Siegel well and were students of his. May was one of the people who claimed to have changed from homosexuality as a result of studying Aesthetic Realism, as shown in the big ad the group bought in the New York Times. Jack died around 1977 and May around 1988.

     May and Jack had three daughters, including my mother, and all three daughters were brought up in AR. My grandparents took my mother to private lessons with Siegel when she was 4 or 5 years old. Another daughter was Alice Bernstein, who is still involved in AR, and who cut off relations with my mother when my mother left the group. They haven't spoken in years. [Update: Shortly after I put up my first page of AR criticism, Alice called my mother to complain about it and ask her to get me to take it down. So the first and only time Alice spoke to my mother in over 20 years was to complain about my AR is a Cult website!]

     My mother introduced my original father to AR when they were in high school or college. I was thus born into the cult as my mother was. I had at least one "lesson" with Eli Siegel, one at age two. (See the transcript of the lesson.) I believe I had two others but I can't locate the records. My mother and my first father divorced when I was about 2 or 3.

     Shortly after that my mom met and married the man who would become my second father. When he met my mother he saw the effect that AR was having on her, and saw that I was destined to grow up in the same environment, so he took us to Texas when I was 5. He knew this was his best hope of getting us out of AR, since after a several decades AR had never successfully spread very far outside of its headquarters in Greenwich Village, NYC. Predictably the AR people told my mother that she was making a big mistake, that she was destroying her life, that she was turning her back on AR, etc. Incidentally, when we left NYC that was the last time I saw my first father -- though honestly each of us lost the ability to easily track down the other years ago.

Me at 12 years old in NYC with
my Aunt Alice (still in AR), dutifully
wearing my "Victim of the Press" button.

     Even after leaving New York, AR wasn't completely out of my life. Of course when we moved to Texas my mom brought the complete set of AR books with her. And in Texas she continued to study AR privately, taught dance classes from the Aesthetic Realism perspective, gave occasional talks on AR, and started an AR study group for interested individuals. I attended the the talks and group meetings. When I was 12 I returned to NYC to visit my cousin, and my mom's sister Alice lost no time in dragging me right back to the Aesthetic Realism Foundation for lessons and "consultations". I even participated in one of AR's vigils against the New York Times. I was basically reabsorbed into the group's culture.

     Incidentally, on AR's "Countering the Lies" website Alice claims that I've been uninvolved with AR since I was five, and that she was friendly with me on my visit to New York when I was 12 even though I was uninvolved with AR. Neither of these things is true. Alice was friendly with me because I was involved with AR during my visit, and I was involved because of her efforts to get me involved. I went to lectures and classes, I had consultations, I participated in a NYT vigil, I wore my VoTP button, and I associated with all the other AR people whom she felt should be my influences.

     Perhaps three years after my NY visit when I was in high school my mother abruptly had an epiphany in which she saw the Aesthetic Realism group for what it really was, and immediately renounced it all, and tearfully apologized to me for making AR a part of my life. (To this day she periodically makes the same apology on occasion, to which I reply that there is nothing to apologize for, since I cannot see anyone else in the same circumstances acting differently. When you're born into a cult, as she was, your ability to reject it and to make informed decisions is severely compromised.) My mother's relevation ended my involvement with AR.

     A few years later my parents divorced and my mother returned to NYC and married another former AR member, but both stayed far away from AR.

     AR people are trying to discredit my criticism with their site Countering the Lies, in part by pointing out that I've been uninvolved with AR formally for many years. That's very true, but what they're not mentioning is that AR hasn't changed much since the days of my involvement, according to former members who left more recently than I did and who have been sharing their stories on this website. They're also not mentioning that I'm not the only one saying these things.

     It's funny when you know someone who swears up and down the street that something is true, for decades, and then they suddenly change their mind. I wonder when the next Aesthetic Realist who is currently calling me a liar will eventually leave the group, like so many other former members before them, and decide I was telling the truth after all.

     So why this site? I tell the story of this site's birth in more detail elsewhere, but I'll answer in brief here: Because AR hurts people. For starters, there are people who've lost a family member to AR, because once you're in AR you pretty much cut off contact with your family members if you can't get them to join. And second because when people finally get out of the group -- and most eventually do -- they have a lot of regret about the time they wasted inside of it, and many need therapy to be able to recover. And as long as AR hurts people, I'm going to be around to make sure the truth about them is known.

 

Siegel's poem for me

Much as my experience with Aesthetic Realism was unpleasant, still I have to think it's pretty cool that the man whom William Carlos Williams praised as one of the greatest poets of our times wrote a poem about me. Of course I was only two years old, and Siegel improvised it verbally off the top of his head, and it's definitely not his best work, but a poem is a poem.

Improvised Song for Michael Andrew
From the Aethetic Realism Lesson
Conducted by Eli Siegel

Once there came to this very room
A little boy called Michael Andrew.
What could I do?
His life was unformed,
He was cold and was warm;
Somewhat misinformed.
But Michael Andrew had a soul,
And it was for me to encourage it to be whole.

He tried to interrupt me and tried to show that he was in control.
But Michael Andrew has a soul,
And what could I do, but to make it whole
As well as I could.
When a little boy is here
I don't know what I should do,
Because on the one hand
There is something to understand;
And on the other, there must be authority.
And sometimes I don't agree with what I do.
But this I know:
That Michael Andrew has a soul that is new,
And I must do all I can do
To have it always new
And always a soul that is a whole soul,
Not just a fraction
Making for an action
And sorrow.
I'll borrow
His mother and his father
In order to encourage Michael Andrew and his soul
To be in control of the lesser soul,
And show that Michael Andrew has a soul
That is a whole soul.

-- Eli Siegel

 [This page started in 2005 and last edited in 2009.]

What's on this site

What is Aesthetic Realism?
An explanation about both the AR philosophy and the group that promotes it.

Cult aspects of Aesthetic Realism
Fanatical devotion to the leader, cutting off relations with families who aren't also believers -- it's all here.

Former members tell their stories
A ton of former members explain what life inside the group was like -- and how they're glad they got out. This one is the longest, but most comprehensive. Very moving stuff.

AR and Homosexuality
The AR group used to try to "cure" people of being gay. They stopped that in 1990 because high-profile success cases kept deciding they were gay after all and leaving. AR has never said their gay-changing attempts were wrong.

AR's founder killed himself
AR's founder Eli Siegel killed himself, but the AR people have been trying to hide that fact. They can't hide any more, since enough former students have come forward to confirm the truth.

Secret AR inquest
We got our hands on a tape of a secret meeting inside the group. It's an inquest of an AR student who was supposedly "cured" of his gayness, only to be found still cruising for gay sex. The AR people are merciless with this guy!

AR responds to this website
The AR people have tried to rebut this website with their own site called Countering the Lies, whose title ought to win some kind of award for irony. Here we explain the story behind that site.

AR consultation
What really happens in an Aesthetic Realism "consultation"? Now for the first time the public can see for themselves. A former member shared his tape with us. In the session the AR counselors tried to help the member not be gay, telling him that the basis of the cure was to express deep gratitude to AR and its founder.

Thinking of leaving AR?
If you're thinking of leaving the group, you're not alone. Let's face it: Most people who have ever studied AR have left -- and not come back. There's got to be a reason for that. Curious about what they figured out? Worried about the fallout if you do decide to leave? Here's everything you need to know.

Media Reports
The media reports on AR from time to time, and it's never favorable. Here's a list of articles, plus some help for journalists researching AR. And here are direct links to the landmark articles in the NY Post and Jewish Times.

Aesthetic Realism glossary
We explain the real meanings behind the loaded language that AR people use.

My own AR experience
I was born into the group, as was my mother, because her parents were members. This page explains my history in the group. On a separate page I have a transcript of my lesson with cult leader Eli Siegel.

AR in their own words.
Give 'em enough rope...
Actual AR internal meeting
Actual AR consultation
Actual AR lesson
Actual AR advertisment
Actual AR ad. #2
Hyper-reaction to criticism

Site News / Blog
Here's some news and commentary that I add from time to time.

 

Aesthetic Realism at a Glance

Name

The Aesthetic Realism Foundation

Founded

1941

Founder

Eli Siegel, poet and art/literary critic.
Committed suicide in 1978

Purpose

To teach Siegel's philosophy of aesthetic realism.


Philosophy

The key to all social ills is for people to learn to like the world. Having contempt for the world leads to unhappiness and even insanity. (The slogan of their newsletter is "Contempt causes insanity".) Homosexuality is seen as a form of insanity caused by not liking the world sufficiently.

Also teaches that "beauty is the making one of opposites".

Location

New York City (SoHo)


Membership

About 103 (35 teachers, 41 training to be teachers, and 27 regular students). Has failed to grow appreciably even after 70 years of existence, and is currently shrinking.

Members call themselves "students". Advanced members who teach others are called "consultants".

Method of study

Public seminars/lectures at their headquarters (in lower Manhattan), group classes, and individual consultations (three consultants vs. one student).


Cult aspects

  • Fanatical devotion to their leader/founder
  • Belief that they have the one true answer to universal happiness
  • Ultimate purpose is to recruit new members
  • Feeling that they are being persecuted
  • Wild, paranoid reactions to criticism
  • Non-communication (or at least very limited communication) with those who have left the group
  • Odd, specialized language.

  • More about cult aspects...

 

 

 

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Photo of Eli Siegel's gravestone from Find A Grave