My own experience with Aesthetic Realism
by Michael Bluejay, editor of this website
My roots in Aesthetic
Realism go deep. I was born into it, because my mother
was born into it, because her parents were involved
in it. My maternal grandfather, Jack Musicant, was
introduced to Aesthetic Realism by Marvin Mondlin who today
(2005) is reportedly its oldest living supporter (and who
has publicly reamed me for
daring to speak out against AR). From what I understand
Mondlin met Siegel while in college, though Siegel himself
didn't attend college and professed a disdain for it. Jack
apparently introduced AR to his future wife, May Musicant.
Jack and May knew Siegel well and were students of his. May
was one of the people who claimed to have changed
from homosexuality as a result of studying Aesthetic
Realism, as shown in the big ad the group bought in the New
York Times. Jack died around 1977 and May around 1988.
May and Jack had three
daughters, including my mother, and all three daughters
were brought up in AR. My grandparents took my mother to
private lessons with Siegel when she was 4 or 5 years old.
Another daughter was Alice
Bernstein, who is still involved in AR, and who cut off
relations with my mother when my mother left the group. They
haven't spoken in years. [Update: Shortly after I put up
my first page of AR criticism, Alice called my mother to
complain about it and ask her to get me to take it down. So
the first and only time Alice spoke to my mother in over 20
years was to complain about my AR is a Cult
website!]
My mother introduced my
original father to AR when they were in high school or
college. I was thus born into the cult as my mother was.
I had at least one "lesson" with Eli Siegel, one at age two.
(See the transcript of the
lesson.) I believe I had two others but I can't locate
the records. My mother and my first father divorced when I
was about 2 or 3.
Shortly after that my
mom met and married the man who would become my second
father. When he met my mother he saw the effect that AR
was having on her, and saw that I was destined to grow up in
the same environment, so he took us to Texas when I was 5.
He knew this was his best hope of getting us out of AR,
since after a several decades AR had never successfully
spread very far outside of its headquarters in Greenwich
Village, NYC. Predictably the AR people told my mother that
she was making a big mistake, that she was destroying her
life, that she was turning her back on AR, etc.
Incidentally, when we left NYC that was the last time I saw
my first father -- though honestly each of us lost the
ability to easily track down the other years ago.
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Me at 12 years old in NYC with
my Aunt Alice (still in AR), dutifully
wearing my "Victim of
the Press" button.
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Even after leaving New
York, AR wasn't completely out of my life. Of course
when we moved to Texas my mom brought the complete set of AR
books with her. And in Texas she continued to study AR
privately, taught dance classes from the Aesthetic Realism
perspective, gave occasional talks on AR, and started an AR
study group for interested individuals. I attended the the
talks and group meetings. When I was 12 I returned to NYC to
visit my cousin, and my mom's sister Alice lost no time in
dragging me right back to the Aesthetic Realism Foundation
for lessons and "consultations".
I even participated in one of AR's vigils
against the New York Times. I was basically reabsorbed
into the group's culture.
Incidentally, on AR's
"Countering the Lies" website Alice claims that I've been
uninvolved with AR since I was five, and that she was
friendly with me on my visit to New York when I was 12 even
though I was uninvolved with AR. Neither of these things
is true. Alice was friendly with me because I was
involved with AR during my visit, and I was involved because
of her efforts to get me involved. I went to lectures
and classes, I had consultations, I participated in a NYT
vigil, I wore my VoTP button, and I associated with all the
other AR people whom she felt should be my influences.
Perhaps three years
after my NY visit when I was in high school my mother
abruptly had an epiphany in which she saw the Aesthetic
Realism group for what it really was, and immediately
renounced it all, and tearfully apologized to me for making
AR a part of my life. (To this day she periodically makes
the same apology on occasion, to which I reply that there is
nothing to apologize for, since I cannot see anyone else in
the same circumstances acting differently. When you're born
into a cult, as she was, your ability to reject it and to
make informed decisions is severely compromised.) My
mother's relevation ended my involvement with AR.
A few years later my
parents divorced and my mother returned to NYC and married
another former AR member, but both stayed far away from
AR.
AR people are trying to
discredit my criticism with their site Countering
the Lies, in part by pointing out that I've been
uninvolved with AR formally for many years. That's very
true, but what they're not mentioning is that AR hasn't
changed much since the days of my involvement, according to
former members who left more recently than I did and who
have been sharing their
stories on this website. They're also not mentioning
that I'm not the only one saying these
things.
It's funny when you know
someone who swears up and down the street that something is
true, for decades, and then they suddenly change their mind.
I wonder when the next Aesthetic Realist who is
currently calling me a liar
will eventually leave the group, like so many other former
members before them, and decide I was telling the truth
after all.
So why this site? I
tell the story of this site's
birth in more detail elsewhere, but I'll answer in brief
here: Because AR hurts people. For starters, there are
people who've lost a family member to AR, because once
you're in AR you pretty much cut off contact with your
family members if you can't get them to join. And second
because when people finally get out of the group -- and most
eventually do -- they have a lot of regret about the time
they wasted inside of it, and many need therapy to be able
to recover. And as long as AR hurts people, I'm going to be
around to make sure the truth about them is known.
Siegel's poem for
me
Much as my experience with Aesthetic Realism was
unpleasant, still I have to think it's pretty cool that the
man whom William Carlos Williams praised as one of the
greatest poets of our times wrote a poem about me. Of course
I was only two years old, and Siegel improvised it verbally
off the top of his head, and it's definitely not his best
work, but a poem is a poem.
Improvised Song for Michael Andrew
From the Aethetic Realism Lesson
Conducted by Eli Siegel
Once there came to this very room
A little boy called Michael Andrew.
What could I do?
His life was unformed,
He was cold and was warm;
Somewhat misinformed.
But Michael Andrew had a soul,
And it was for me to encourage it to be whole.
He tried to interrupt me and tried to show that he was
in control.
But Michael Andrew has a soul,
And what could I do, but to make it whole
As well as I could.
When a little boy is here
I don't know what I should do,
Because on the one hand
There is something to understand;
And on the other, there must be authority.
And sometimes I don't agree with what I do.
But this I know:
That Michael Andrew has a soul that is new,
And I must do all I can do
To have it always new
And always a soul that is a whole soul,
Not just a fraction
Making for an action
And sorrow.
I'll borrow
His mother and his father
In order to encourage Michael Andrew and his soul
To be in control of the lesser soul,
And show that Michael Andrew has a soul
That is a whole soul.
-- Eli Siegel
[This page started in 2005 and last edited in
2009.]
What's on this site
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Cult Aspects
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What is Aesthetic Realism?
An explanation about both the AR philosophy and the group that promotes it.
Cult aspects of Aesthetic Realism
Fanatical devotion to the leader, cutting off relations with families who aren't also believers -- it's all here.
AR and Homosexuality
The AR group used to try to "cure" people of being gay. They stopped that in 1990 because high-profile success cases kept deciding they were gay after all and leaving. AR has never said their gay-changing attempts were wrong.
AR's founder killed himself
AR's founder Eli Siegel killed himself, but the AR people have been trying to hide that fact. They can't hide any more, since enough former students have come forward to confirm the truth.
Attempts to recruit schoolchildren
Some AR members are public schoolteachers, and yep, they do try to recruit in the classroom.
Five reasons you can't trust an Aesthetic Realist
One reason is that most people who were in AR eventually woke up and got out. See more about this, plus four other reasons.
Lies Aesthetic Realists tell
They say they never saw homosexuality as something to cure. They say the leader didn't kill himself. They say my family left the group when I was an infant. These and more are debunked here.
Hypocrisy of the Aesthetic Realists
It takes some serious brainwashing for the members to not realize that they're guilty of what they accuse others of.
Aesthetic Realism glossary
We explain the real meanings behind the loaded language that AR people use.
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Other goodies
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Thinking of leaving AR?
If you're thinking of leaving the group, you're not alone. Let's face it: Most people who have ever studied AR have left -- and not come back. There's got to be a reason for that. Curious about what they figured out? Worried about the fallout if you do decide to leave? Here's everything you need to know.
Media Reports
NY Mag called AR "a cult of messianic nothingness" and Harper's referred to them as "the Moonies of poetry". We've got reprints of articles, plus some help for journalists researching AR. (And here are shortcuts to the landmark articles in the NY Post and Jewish Times.)
Site News / Blog
Here's some news and commentary that I add from time to time.
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AR in their own words
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Actual AR
advertisment
The AR people spent a third of a million dollars
for a double-page ad in the NY Times to tell the world that the
press' refusal to cover AR is just as wrong as letting hungry people
starve to death.
Ad for the gay
cure
AR bought huge ads in major newspapers to trumpet
their ability to "fix" gays.
Actual
letters from AR people
When a theater critic casually dissed Aesthetic
Realism in New York magazine, the AR people responded with hundreds
of angry letters, calling the article "a crime against humanity".
Actual internal
meeting
The AR people blunderingly made a tape recording
of a secret meeting they had, where they lambasted a member who had
supposedly been "cured" of his gayness, but then found to still be
cruising for gay sex. Their screeching hostility towards him is matched
only by their fear that the secret will get out.
Actual AR
consultation
For the first time the public can see what really
happens in an Aesthetic Realism "consultation" (thanks to a former
member sharing his tape with us). In the session the AR counselors
tried to help the member not be gay, explaining that the path to
ex-gayness was to express deep gratitude to AR and its founder.
Actual AR lesson
I had a lesson with the cult leader, Eli Siegel, when I was two years
old, which, like everything else, they made a tape of. The highlight is
Siegel taunting me with "Cry some more, Michael, cry some more!"
Ad in the Village Voice from 1962
The AR folks try to deny that they're a cult in this ancient ad -- showing that people were calling them a cult as far back as 1962!
AR
responds to this website
The AR people have tried to rebut this website
with their own site called Countering the Lies, whose title
ought to win some kind of award for irony. Here we explain the story
behind that site.
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What former members say
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Aesthetic Realism
exposed
The ultimate statement by a former member, who
was involved for well over a decade.
A tale
of getting sucked in.
This former member describes exactly how he
initially got drawn in, and how he then kept getting more and more
involved.
Aesthetic
Realism ruined his marriage. "I consider my 'study' of
Aesthetic Realism to be one of the factors that led to the eventual
breakup of my marriage, to my eternal sorrow."
On
having all the answers. A former member explains how AR
members think they have all the answers, and feel qualified to lecture
others about how they should view personal tragedy.
Kicked
out for remaining gay. A former student describes how he
was kicked out of AR because he couldn't change from homosexuality.
"If I
disappointed them, then I now consider that a badge of honor."
A former member tells how AR try to change him from being gay, and
convinced him not to spend Christmas with his family.
"...people
were controlled and humiliated if they stepped out of line...".
The experiences shared with us by a member from 1974-80, now a Fortune
100 executive.
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"I want
Ellen Reiss questioned!" This former member wonders why there
hasn't been a class-action lawsuit against the foundation yet.
They
took his consultation tape. Describes how the AR people
kept his consultation tape with his most intimate thoughts on it, and
told him he couldn't study any more unless he incorporated AR more
radically into his life.
"There isn't any question: Eli Siegel killed himself."
A former member who had sought AR's "gay cure" explains how the group's leaders admitted that the founder took his own life.
Confirms
all the criticism. A former member from 1971-80,
confirms that AR students don't see their families, are discouraged
from attending college, and shun other members. He also offers that he
was mistaken when he was involved about thinking that AR had changed
him from homosexuality.
Michael Bluejay's
description. Your webmaster describes his own family's
involvement.
Members
interviewed in Jewish Times. This lengthy article in
Jewish Times quotes former students of Aesthetic Realism extensively.
NY Post article.
A series of articles in the NY Post quotes many former members who are
now critical of the group.
Aesthetic
Realism debunked. A former student explains the cult
aspects of AR. Posted on Steve Hassan's Freedom of Mind website.
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Aesthetic Realism at a Glance |
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Name |
The
Aesthetic Realism Foundation |
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Founded |
1941 |
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Founder |
Eli Siegel, poet and art/literary critic.
Committed suicide in 1978 |
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Purpose |
To get the world to realize that Eli Siegel was the greatest person who ever lived, and that Aesthetic Realism is the most important knowledge, ever. |
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Philosophy
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The key to all social ills is for people to learn to like the world. Having contempt for the world leads to unhappiness and even insanity. (Their slogan is "Contempt causes insanity".) For example, homosexuality is a form of insanity caused by not liking the world sufficiently.
Also teaches that "beauty is the making one of
opposites". |
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Location |
New York City (SoHo) |
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Membership
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About 106 (33 teachers, 44 training to be teachers, and 29 regular students). Has failed to grow appreciably even after 70 years of existence, and is currently shrinking.
All members call themselves "students", even the leaders/teachers. Advanced members who teach others are called "consultants". |
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Method of study |
Public seminars/lectures at their headquarters (in lower Manhattan), group classes, and
individual consultations (three consultants vs. one student). |
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Cult aspects
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- Fanatical devotion to their leader/founder
- Belief that they have the one true answer to universal happiness
- Ultimate purpose is to recruit new members
- Feeling that they are being persecuted
- Wild, paranoid reactions to criticism
- Non-communication (or at least very limited communication) with those who have left
the group
- Odd, specialized language.
More about cult aspects...
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